"What Could Have Been"

In the song “What Hurts the Most,” by Rascal Flatt's theirs many emotions and thoughts that go through me, just because of how life is. Whats very touching in the song is when they sing;

“I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out, I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while, even though going on with you gone still upsets me. There’s days every now and then I pretend I’m okay, but that's not what gets me. What hurts the most is being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away and never knowing what could have been.”

Life isn’t so great at times. It can be tricky and horrible, but at times be the best when everything seems perfect. At times we going to cross paths with people that aren’t who we though or expected them to be. It’s a good thing if who they are is really who they say they are. But bad when they hurt us and leave with out any explanation. We’re going to run into those ups and down moments, but at the end it’ll be worth it. In life we have to deal with tragedies and happiness and whats amazing is we have that power in ourselves. We control who we choose to be, what we do or how we want things to be. At times things get to us and put us down, but why let it bother us if life goes on. Human beings make mistakes every second, minute, hour and everyday so what that’s just how some choose to live life. Yep, that’s how life is so don’t think of what hurts and causes pain. Just think about what if you were to never take another breath again and not being able to tell someone you’ve meet that means everything, and they don’t know exactly how you feel. The fear of wounding others is something that everyone has to deal with that’s why some people are how they are. I would want to know instead of living or leaving wondering about what could have been. Because one person can make a huge difference in an others persons life. I see life like this; I know for many facts I’m not perfect, I’m no where near that, but i try to be a better person and not be a disappointment. But so what when my times come I'll be judge for what errors i made or caused, everything will be on me not you. Regrets aren’t really regrets because the consequences were laid out there in front of us before the final act was chosen. Life isn’t any more or less fun living or leaving wondering what could have been. Soon or later everything comes out, but we choose and prefer later cause we think it would cause less pain to others when really it just destroys everything.

Pain With In

In one stormy cold night everything and everyone changed specially, 17 year old  Ida Jane Totty. She was in her junior year attending Bloom Valley High School in a small town. Jane was the type of girl that did good in school, was very friendly, stayed out of trouble, feared to commit mistakes and disappoint anyone.  

She was the average girl 5’5 to be exact, was in good shape and had light brown tan skin. Her golden brown eyes, had some sorta of spark that could make any guy fall for her. She had the most rosy pink cheeks, when she’d be blushing. Jane's eyelashes curve up and you can see a thin layer of black eyeliner perfectly drawn. When she was happy than normal she  brought life into others. At times she’d be random and say the silliest things, she was hardly serious, to not let the world around her know the real her. Because the real Jane was destroyed and torn in a million pieces.

Jane would ask her self, “God why do i suffer?” Jane had many reasons to why, but she never understood why things happen to her.

She was raised by her Aunt Ellen, after her moms death when given birth. Jane’s dad died 6 months after her birth from a drug over doze and depression. For Jane to know that her parents were criminals who trafficked drugs in and out of the country was horrible. And to to top it off they had been in hiding for a year. Jane couldn’t believe the past about her parents and it  wasn’t easy, but she didn’t let anything bring her down.

“I know everything happened for a reason, and that reason I will soon know the answer too.” She said hiding her face in her hands.

“Oh honey, only God knows everything and why things happen.” Said her Aunt Ellen, reaching for Jane's hand.

Everyone seen Jane as the girl that had it easy, but everyone was mistaken, judging her for what they seen on the outside. Who’d ever think that such a sweet cheerful girl would be miserable on the inside. Her Aunt Ellen had no clue of her suffering, but sometimes questioned Jane’s behavior. Ms. Ellen prayed that God would bless Jane and not lead her in the wrong direction.

That afternoon Jane tried to convince her Aunt Ellen to let her go to the town fair. Which was in McKee, about an hour away from where they lived. Jane would be going with Amy and Penny her two best friends, since junior high.

“Aunt Ellen may I please, go to the fair?” Jane asked, standing in front of her aunt.

“NO!” Aunt Ellen said, removing her glasses and laying them on her lap. “Its to far and anything could happen on the way there, so no your not going.”

Jane was tempted to argue and argue. “Why not? It’s the last night for the fair, and everyone is going.”

Aunt Ellen looked Jane straight in the eyes and said. “I don’t care if the president was going, your not going and it’s final.”

“Ugh! Fine forget it, what was i thinking asking for permission if you don’t ever let me do anything in this stupid town.” Jane said, turning around and stumbling away to her room.

“Be mad, just walk away, and lock your self in your room. It won’t make a difference your not going.” Rocking back and forth, Aunt Ellen said.

Later that night around six Ms. Ellen cooked frozen pizza for dinner, because she knows Jane loved  pizza. Ms. Ellen walked to Jane’s door and knocked.

“Jane dear I know your mad, but it’s dinner time. So please join me at the dinning table.” Aunt Ellen said, leaning up against the door and resting her hand on the nob.

“Okay!” Jane said with no anger in her voice.

“Alright dear,” Aunt  Ellen said walking away.

Jane came out of her room in no time. She was ready to eat dinner and not even bother to argue with her aunt. When Jane walked in the dinning room Ms. Ellen was already seated, laying a slice of melted cheesy pizza on her plate right in front of her. Also, serving Jane a slice too, and topping it with ranch. Her aunt was trying so hard to please her, so Jane wouldn’t be furious that she didn’t get to go out that Saturday night. As Jane took a seat next to her aunt, Jane was lost in thought. Her aunt was trying to have conversation, but Jane was speechless. So her aunt gave up on trying to have conversation. And had another slice of pizza and poured freshly home made sweet tea in two glass cups.

“Well I’m done with dinner I’m of to bed.” Jane mention while she stood up and grabbed the glass of tea.

“So early dear, its only six’ thirty-two?” Aunt Ellen, looked at Jane and looked down feeling guilty for the way she treated Jane that afternoon.

“OH Well!!!” she yelled. “I’m tired and I’m go to bed, goodnight.” Jane said running into her room, locking the door behind her. Jane lean against her door and begin to cry. Tear after tear ran down her cheeks, and that's when Jane begin to see life in a different way, it was extremely unexpected. She had went through very rough times, but she didn’t let the pain show. She was very strong in holding everything in, but at times the wound would burn her and make her weak and fragile. Jane couldn't take it any longer she was sick and tired of living a pointless life. She felt like no one needed her just like she didn't need anyone. Jane got up and walked to her dresser and open the drawer and begin to look for something sharp. She found a pair of scissors and open them with one hand and stuck out the other hand. Jane was looking for the right vain to cut, and not make any cut, she was going to make the cut that will end her life once and for all. She didn’t think it any longer and she put the sharp tip of the scissors against her skin and pressed down deep, so she wouldn’t feel the pain she quickly pressed it and sliced a deep wound. The blood begin to drip and come out more and more, Jane felt relief, but didn’t fell satisfied so she made more cuts each time she would make them deep and deeper. Jane knew she was dying she didn’t care, she was dying slowly. Jane liked the feeling in no time she wouldn’t feel anything that feeling pleased her more. Jane died leaving her Aunt Ellen wondering. Why? No one knew why, only Jane knew the answer and reason to why.

“Some Day I’ll Spread My Wings”

By: Erika Moreno

“I’m not a little girl anymore. I want my own life, and yeah, I’m probably going to make mistakes, but they’re my mistakes. I don’t try to hurt anybody or lie or anything, but sometimes I have to just to get what I need.”

These word came from a text in the book “How It Ends,” by Laura Wiess.  These words are used by teenage girls every day. They mean so much. I’ve heard and seen them been used. They affect the parent as much as it affects the teen not having their space. These words might hurt parents, but it also opens their eyes to see that their little princess is growing up. I personally haven’t said them to my parents, but I’m not going to deny that at times I do. Parents need to lie off from time to time, because they sometimes put us under a lot of pressure. They know what it’s like to want space.  Because the little girl is becoming an adult parents must trust themselves that they taught their daughter what’s right and wrong.  From time to time we are going to make mistakes, but what’s the big deal parents do too. I think no matter what, that little girl that once existed is still here just is more mature and very responsible. Parents shouldn’t be as much protective either.  And in a teens life its best to bond now than later because depending a teens situation at home is the choice of staying or leaving everything and everyone behind.

                                                 “ As Everyday Goes By”
                                                      By: Erika Moreno
    As I walk into World History class I have a head ache. I  can smell the stench of the boys locker room. I try really hard to hold my breath, but eventually I have to breath.  I can  feel  the air so mushy. Everyone scrambled everywhere ready to take their afternoon naps. The teacher as always standing by the door. I like the teacher he is very easygoing, but that class is such a dread.

"Behind These Hazel Eyes"

The song “Behind These Hazel Eyes” by Kelly Clarckson is a different way to see life. Every time I hear this song I think the composer must have went through rough times. The lyrics are very powerful and it’s a slap in the face with reality. When we don’t have  our space, we tend to find it and sometimes with another person and  things just happen. When we find someone to relate to because of the same situation we. Getting to know that person seeing them, talking to them, and giving one another  advice unite us closer. But you can’t know everything about that person  and they don’t know exactly everything about our selves, no matter how big the trust is we are not completely honest. No one really is because if we were we would be perfect. We are human and make mistakes of all kind, but yet we find that one person that we adore and think nothing could go wrong. As beautiful everything once seemed, forget about it that was yesterday to day is a different day. As happy as we feel we get the feeling it won’t last. we want to live in the moment and not think of what damage is going to occur. When that trust is brooked between you and that special person, the feelings aren’t pretty matter fact the feelings are so fragile it hurts to talk about them. Those feeling separate you from the world and mostly from that person that maybe once cared and hurt  you so bad.

BLUE

I LOVE BLUE!!!!!